Ministerial Meditations
by The Rev. Connie Yost
January 4, 2015
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Beautiful Big Bend National Park, Texas |
New Year's Resolution
Well, I did it again, bringing in
that infant Purity across the land,
welcoming Innocence with gin
in New York, waiting up
to help Chicago,
Denver, L.A., Fairbanks, Hon-
olulu--and now
the high school bands are alienating Dallas,
and girls in gold and tangerine
have lost all touch with Pasadena,
and young men with muscles and missing teeth
are dreaming of personal fouls,
and it's all beginning again, just like
those other Januaries in
instant reply.
But I've had enough
of turning to look back, the old
post-morteming of defeat:
people I loved but didn't touch,
friends I haven't seen for years,
strangers who smiled but didn't speak--failures,
failures. No,
I refuse to leave it at that, because
somewhere, off camera,
January is coming like Venus
up from the murk of December, re-
virginized, as innocent
of loss as any dawn. Resolved: this year
I'm going to break my losing streak,
I'm going to stay alert, reach out,
speak when not spoken to,
read the minds of people in the streets.
I'm going to practice every day,
stay in training, and be moderate
in all things.
All things but love.
that infant Purity across the land,
welcoming Innocence with gin
in New York, waiting up
to help Chicago,
Denver, L.A., Fairbanks, Hon-
olulu--and now
the high school bands are alienating Dallas,
and girls in gold and tangerine
have lost all touch with Pasadena,
and young men with muscles and missing teeth
are dreaming of personal fouls,
and it's all beginning again, just like
those other Januaries in
instant reply.
But I've had enough
of turning to look back, the old
post-morteming of defeat:
people I loved but didn't touch,
friends I haven't seen for years,
strangers who smiled but didn't speak--failures,
failures. No,
I refuse to leave it at that, because
somewhere, off camera,
January is coming like Venus
up from the murk of December, re-
virginized, as innocent
of loss as any dawn. Resolved: this year
I'm going to break my losing streak,
I'm going to stay alert, reach out,
speak when not spoken to,
read the minds of people in the streets.
I'm going to practice every day,
stay in training, and be moderate
in all things.
All things but love.
~ Philip Appleman ~
(New and Selected Poems, 1956-1996)
Here
we are at the beginning of a New Year, so let me start by wishing you a Happy
New Year. I’ve long enjoyed the ending
of one year and the beginning of another as a time of reflection and discernment
of what I want to bring more of into my life this year.
I
like this poem because it highlights the pitfalls of the process. Reflection on the year gone by is necessary
so we can know where we’ve been, where we’ve had success, where we’ve had joy, where
we’ve gone off-track, and where we need to make amends. All necessary for our growth, relationships
and well-being.
But
we can easily get mired in regrets and emotional self-flagellation, the “old post-morteming
of defeat.”
If you’re like me, it won’t be hard to make a long list of New Year’s Resolutions,
attempting to correct the failures of the last year. I’ll practice the piano more, spend more time
on my art, stop swearing at other drivers, post more on my blog, stick to my
diet, walk 10,000 steps every day, etc. etc.
With
any luck, I’ll actually do some or maybe even all of these things this
year. But this year I’m approaching my
resolutions differently. Rather than
looking at them as reproaching me for my past failures, I am looking at them as
a way to bring more joy into my life. I
may not like sticking to my diet, but I know I will like losing weight. It’s hard learning something new, like
drawing and painting, but the only way to learn is to keep doing it. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Every artist was first an amateur.”
So
as the poem says, “I'm going to practice every day, stay in training.” One of the most
important ways we can “stay in training” is to check-in with ourselves on a daily
basis. A spiritual practice will help
you do that. It can be anything that
helps you quiet yourself so you can listen to your spirit – the longings, the
passions, the wounds – everything that makes you “you.” Spiritual practices include prayer,
meditation, walking in nature, journaling or spiritual writing, spiritual
reading (Lectio Divina), chanting or
spiritual singing, spiritual art and many others that are an integral part of a
particular religious tradition.
Adopting a regular spiritual
practice is a great way to keep in touch with yourself and for many people, it
is a way to feel connected to and supported by your higher power, God/Goddess,
Spirit of Life—whatever name speaks to you.
As a process theologian, I believe that we co-create reality with the
mystery that I call God; that God is continually inviting us – luring us—to lives
that include more truth, more beauty, more creativity, more compassion, more love. The wonderful poet and priest John O’Donohue
says, “There is an unseen world that
dreams us and knows our true direction and destiny.”
So
for this New Year, amidst all your New Year’s Resolutions, I invite you to make
one more – to find or continue the spiritual practice that supports you and
brings you more fully alive with joy and love. “Practice every
day, stay in training, and be moderate in all things. All things but love.”
Copyright 2015 Constance B. Yost. All rights reserved.